Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i think my mom watched the whole time
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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