Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize