And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
