nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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