I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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