my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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