i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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