I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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