You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
party gras won. party gras always wins.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
