I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
