I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize