I could have mohawked her pubes.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
