You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
