forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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