even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
