Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
