Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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