Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
