Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
