Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
