I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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