new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
