So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
