brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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