Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i've created a new STD.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
