I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
