You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
