Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
