i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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