So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
