STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
