just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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