i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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