Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
