Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
