Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize