Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
