textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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