what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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