Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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