Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
