sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
