Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize