R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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