you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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