so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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