On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
