Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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