he shaved USA in his pubs
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
