there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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