he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
