I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize