I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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