So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize