it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
