I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
