people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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