I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i will never coherently bang her
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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