When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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