Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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