break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
