"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize