My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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