Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
