pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
