apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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