Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
