I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
