My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
