Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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