Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
