Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
