dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
