This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
