Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
