dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
