VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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