I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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