You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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