it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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