return my video game
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
