those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
