Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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