He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize