new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
